What is your secret ingredient?

It’s no secret that I love to cook. I also love to eat. I read cookbooks and watch Food Network like porn. I love to see what friends are cooking and more than a few of my recipes are tried and true favorites from family and friends.

My mom and Big Susan liked to cook. Nothing got them going more than planning the Friday night dinners before the mitzvah of one of Susan’s grandkids. Or a Jewish holiday. Or Thanksgiving. They shared menus. They prepped, peeled, sliced and basted. They set tables, taste tested and shooed many a kid out of the kitchen. At the beach, lunches often included massive bowls of tuna and egg salad while dinners included my mother’s infamous “beach chicken” – a foul concoction of chicken roasted with French dressing, onion soup mix and apricot jam. I can assure you, I am not making that.

As I was cooking for this last Passover, I really wanted to make roast chicken. But, not any roast chicken – I wanted Big Susan’s roast chicken. It looked just right – skinless, boneless chicken pieces nestled in a bed of roast onions (onions must always be on the side – one her boys does not like them!) Everything was the perfect roasty color – the seasoning just right. Years ago, I asked Big Susan for her recipe. Much like my mom, she didn’t follow one. She just did it. I watched, I tried to remember. If I took notes, I’ve long since lost them. I’ve tried to recreate and I’ve failed. This year, I asked her daughter. Her response was exactly the same as her mothers, which was of no help to me. I tried again and while it was okay, it wasn’t Big Susan’s roast chicken. I don’t even think about attempting her chicken salad.

Food brings back memories. One time – one single time – one of my sisters remarked that she liked

my stepfather’s homemade BBQ sauce and mom’s coleslaw. You can bet they made that all the time for her - long after she stopped liking it. One of my sisters likes to keep her cooking healthy and we have mocked her more than once – tofu cheesecake just isn’t the same. Once, that same sister and I made a pie that required freezer time. When taking it out, we discovered that a small, very frozen, Cornish game hen had fallen into said pie and frozen in the center. You could literally pick that frozen bird up and the whole pie came with it. Cornish game hen banana pie. We still laugh about it.

Cookbooks are my scrapbooks

Now, many of my friends are very good cooks. T makes wicked good meatballs and her hot fudge sauce is sublime. M taught me how to make sopa and is my go-to when I have questions about making biscuits. L follows a good recipe and will always share but whenever I make good Italian – I must call and tell her so that she can share with her mother – a New York Italian if ever there was one. Another friend makes this meatball thing that my daughter loves – one of those crazy three ingredient things that are always a hit. So when I bring a slow-cooker full of meatballs to a gathering – we can thank her for the recipe. Now, my dear friend N also loves to cook and we rarely plan our Jewish holiday menus without checking with each other for something new and different. Her broccoli soufflé has graced my table – and that of my sister. Her zucchini soup is a favorite (and a great way to use all that summer squash!) An old friend made a kugel every year for the holidays and it was delicious. I begged for that recipe and for years she would not share it. She finally did. I make it and like I promised – I don’t share that recipe.

My sister-in-law is a very good cook and many of her recipes have graced my table – triple-chip cookies, black bean shrimp salsa and pork tenderloin salsa verde all came from her kitchen. My sisters have also contributed to my recipe book. I so loved the meatball soup that S used to make - I learned to make it for mini-me and her turkey meatloaf is the bomb. My other sister doesn’t love to cook but she sure turns out a mean fruit crumble (strawberry-rhubarb is my fav) and her well-seasoned salmon made Mini-me a fish lover at a very young age.

Each time I use a recipe from a friend or family member, it’s a bit like spending time together. It always makes me smile and “remember when.”

This year, Mini-me has taken to baking. I taught her to make my dad’s favorite Crescent Cookies – little moon-shaped shortbread cookies with tiny bits of pecan and dusted with powdered sugar. They are melt-in-your-mouth good! While we baked – and I told her they were Grandpa Bob’s favorites, she asked questions about him and I told her stories. Some she may have heard before but she graciously listened as I waxed nostalgic.

Side story: Mini-me is not a picky eater. Never has been. But, she does have some food she absolutely dislikes and has never liked. Every one of those foods are the same foods my father disliked. They never met. She has his palate completely – including her love of dark chocolate (from a very young age), her utter disgust at cream cheese, mayonnaise, most jams/jellies and ranch dressing, her preference for not-too-sweet desserts and good ice cream. Genetics people. They are strong.

Back to cooking. Now, T’s hubby is also a good cook and I’ve started to gather some good recipes from him. A stew with sweet potatoes and peanut butter is perfect on a cold night. And the lettuce wraps from old friends still shows up on those hot summer nights. My sister’s Chinese chicken salad is the best ever and my brother does a mean rub for grilled meats and can always be counted on for a cocktail recipe. His eggnog should be illegal and his Sangria is delicious….and the Moscow Mules never suck nor do his Bloody Mary’s. Years ago (think early ‘80s), his go-to recipe was soy sauce chicken cooked in the wok. I remember being so impressed. My cousin B is also a great cook, something he inherited from his folks. The family recipe of a roast cooked rock salt will be tried in my house this year – I’m determined!

Mom & Jack's handwritten recipes

Sure, I pull recipes from online, magazines and such – but there is something special about a recipe from a friend or family member. I have recipe binders – full of clippings and copied recipes. There are some in there I’ve never tried – but they’re in my mom’s handwriting so in the binder, they will stay. I have a curated collection of cookbooks. I do periodically weed it all out but these are some of my favorite reads. Each time I try a recipe, I note the date and any important notes or changes or ideas. When I later go back to them, it’s nice to see….and remember.

All of my family and many of my friends live so far away. We rarely cook together and I want to cook with them – with you. So, I am asking you. Send me your favorite recipe – maybe it’s one that’s been in your family and maybe it’s a new one you just tried. Tell me why it’s your favorite. I promise to try and live up the expectation and hope it will be as good as yours. I want to make that recipe – it will be like spending some time together. You can send your recipes to WhoIsYourBigSusan@gmail.com.

Bon Appetit!